im ok

its resolved i think, the crappy shit tts been bugging me for a while. im only sorry i had to whine to so many of you abt it! haha.. muacks. hwachong pps, go study and stop blog-surfing! :)

fluttered into your heart on Wednesday, March 3, 2004 at 10:48 p.m.

these days

i go to sleep holding on to things which should not be in my hands, with thoughts that should not be floating in my head, with the sound of a voice that is the wrong one. and then in the mornings i wake to a face that is strangely familiar and touching.

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, February 29, 2004 at 11:33 a.m.

divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood

was out with yun and then ivan today, and i found myself reminiscing abt e past to him. a past where yun and em and i sat at the back of the classroom in geog, laughing at lucille yap and her english. (she was nice i must admit) the times when we bitched, the countless sleepovers and shopping trips, the lunches where we pigged out. united by similar attitudes, the same bad sense of humour, a love for food and the fact that we've known everything about each other and the knowledge that all this wont change. my biggest regret is not following them to rj, because it hurts knowing that ive missed out on something important. the friendship doesnt end by being in diff schools, but there is definitely smth lost. in pursuing my dream i have forsaken smth else. and one full year later, this fact is still hard to reconcile. to the two of you: friends are the family you choose for yourself; and i couldnt ask for two better sisters in my life.

song of the day: I promise by Stacie Orrico

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, February 28, 2004 at 08:16 p.m.

like a fresh breath of life, you're the flavour of the week

fluttered into your heart on Friday, February 27, 2004 at 08:33 p.m.

the nearness of you

it's in the look u give and the vibes i feel, all else falls to pieces and makes me question why.

some days u want to run around the central plaza screaming whatthefuckisgoingonaroundhere except that would be too obscenely vulgar wouldnt it?

jo-ism: polygamy for womenkind!

fluttered into your heart on Wednesday, February 25, 2004 at 05:31 p.m.

points of clarification

dun quote what i blog! this is specially for my dear classmate mr khoonliat colflesh robert, who loves to rmb the catchier things i type here :P BLEAHHH!!!!

oh ya, my dear noisy classmates: i didnt hit on nobody! so give me a break can? (a break, not a brack) double BLEAHHHH!!!

fluttered into your heart on Monday, February 23, 2004 at 09:04 p.m.

if i said my heart was devoted to u and only u, wld u believe me? and wld i believe myself.

i always think i know what im doing, i act like im the wise sensible girl, but really- what the hell do i know. just as fucked up as everyone else is.

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, February 22, 2004 at 09:41 p.m.

take a brack, have a kit kat. too bad kit kats are unhealthy.

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, February 21, 2004 at 05:28 p.m.

2 more weeks to block tests!!! time to get off my fat ass and do work until i die! or sleep with my mouth wide open, drooling on my study table with my history extracts in one pile before me!! do or die! whichever comes first!

she loves fridays for too many reasons and feels hysterical. this is what a wake-up call is like. TGIF indeed..

fluttered into your heart on Thursday, February 19, 2004 at 07:58 p.m.

guess who

he gets better looking every time i see him, after all this time! :)

she thinks she will never tire of him, but then again u can never be sure.

fluttered into your heart on Wednesday, February 18, 2004 at 07:48 p.m.

love is...

watching u play against my training partner, tearing at every pained expression u made and resisting e urge to cry

u knowing abt my every feeling of discomfort, irritation or boredom even when i think i am hiding it well. e knowledge that u know me better than i know myself.

u telling me u love me, and my knowing that its true.

to thank the best friend, the other best friend and the most loved one.

fluttered into your heart on Monday, February 16, 2004 at 06:59 p.m.

thanks to all those who came for my bday dinner! i got really really high that night.. before, during and after the booze :) i promise to act a little more like my age. oh and happy total defense day/ friendship day/ valentines day/ etc.

fluttered into your heart on Friday, February 13, 2004 at 08:54 p.m.

e-"learning"

crap, IVLE is fricking funny!

a left-winger...fights for the rights of the left-handed minority
a xenophobe... is afraid of Amazon women (the xena in xenophobe?? wtf)
a moderate... avoids extreme sports
In a meritocracy, the criterion for advancement is... dementia (if only eh)
autocracy is... a society dominated by cars


fluttered into your heart on Tuesday, February 10, 2004 at 09:01 a.m.

mum: "so when is your birthday? the 12th or the 14th?"

me: "........ both r wrong!!" (fumes)

anyway i downloaded the william hung clip. super funny!! :) the guy's so goofy he's really cute...

was at e esplanade w 2 very different guys last wk... feel like such a bloody liar. as in... yes, hi, i know i am not really cheating. but e tug of my heartstrings is undeniable and unforgivable.

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, February 8, 2004 at 12:54 p.m.

the crummy thing called timing

when u want to train, u fall sick. when u dont want to train, u have to.

when ur coach obviously likes u, u r a f**king slacker. when she doesnt, u can try ur hardest and she wont even know.

when im so in love, im at my most vulnerable to entities called softball boys. when im fed up with him, there isnt anyone worth a second glance.

when i want 2b e person i almost am, i screw up miserably. and when i am e person i want 2b, i never notice.

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, February 7, 2004 at 08:09 a.m.

nicholas nickleby is a gd show! some parts are really soppy and kinda homosexual, but overall its nice. and man, the lead actor has great abs.

fluttered into your heart on Wednesday, February 4, 2004 at 10:31 p.m.

my way or the highway

i should try exercising some restraint, more control, a measure of discipline. failing that, i could screw it all and grab myself a cider. the story of my life indeed.

fluttered into your heart on Tuesday, February 3, 2004 at 07:28 p.m.

fatal attraction

hmm, today was a. nice. day. too nice.

i need to do some thinking.



fluttered into your heart on Monday, February 2, 2004 at 10:19 p.m.

ever felt like youre a hamster or a lab rat,made to run around on your little wheel to the whims and fancies of MOE authorities and your school administration? of course you do.. if youre a local student who has studied for any length of time here.

have been made to go back to sch on a bright and lovely saturday morning jus to take part in a pilot test on online assessment. and what do i get out of it? kicks?? please lah. so i hurried through the two papers and finished them as quickly as i could. now waiting for dear old engsiang on my right to finish up so that i can zao and go have an early lunch.

oh right.. STJ later at fish&co. hope the turn out is good :)

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, January 31, 2004 at 10:07 a.m.

dun be hum ji your happiness is in your own hands

those of u who wld be so kind as to fulfill any item on my birthday list, pls kindly leave a note on my tagboard to avoid overlapping. it can be anonymous :) on another thing, i solemnly swear to hand in my othello essay on thursday. this thursday. all u ppl reading this must nag me in sch ah? thx thx.. heehee

fluttered into your heart on Monday, January 26, 2004 at 06:15 p.m.

sr's entry sparked off some thoughts on friends tt count. i dont see why ppl say tt u make ur best friends in sec school.. ok i mean i did la (emily, yun!), but my jc friends are damn good ones too. those in my class and lixin esp.. these are friends i know i will always be able to fall back on. then there are those like amos and sr, who defy any real classification. whatever it is, there's a definite circle of ppl who mean the world to me- and i hope they know who they are :D (u can check w me if ure unsure.. haha)

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 10:59 p.m.

relatives

i think ill make my niece my bridesmaid nxt time.. jus realised she really is my fav relative :)

my horrid male cousin and cousin-in-law (both in their 30s but acting like theyre 13) were making fun of me when i was eating yesterday.. pls loh, they havent even seen me pigging out yet and they were cracking jokes abt double chins and laughing like mad when i took a bite. haha... stupid asses.

dinner yesterday was... ahh.. fantastic.

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 09:03 a.m.

wish list

hello, ive decided to come up w a birthday list. its shameless i know... but to save u some time and money, and to save me e trouble of getting all this myself, i decided it was for the greater good!- so here goes:

1. Philip Larkin's anthology of poems
2. Cliffnotes' Hamlet
3. tickets to any nice play
4. girly stuff etc blah blah (i am a material girl.. and u nvr have enough)
5. a lovely long letter to me if ure broke! cos i understand tt times are tough :) :) :) and despite wat i jus sed, it doesnt really matter what i get.

muacks.. love you guys! happy CNY!!
(if i sound unusually happy its becos.. well..)

fluttered into your heart on Thursday, January 22, 2004 at 07:00 p.m.

I'll go wherever you will go

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face

If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone could you make it on your own?

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you, through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you

fluttered into your heart on Wednesday, January 21, 2004 at 11:11 a.m.

oh crap where have my images gone. not my fault, will fix it err.. soon.

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, January 18, 2004 at 10:03 p.m.

i hate othello. have been putting off his essay for eight weeks... :(

em's party was pretty good, as it always is when em, yun, amos, hon, kummy, ivan are there. kummy seems 2b doing just fine. as scrawny as ever, but what do u expect yes? :) hmm yeah, hon and i had lots of mo4 qi4 last night too, felt just like old times.

(would like to take a nap)

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, January 18, 2004 at 10:45 a.m.

of massages and scary classmates (just one)

so the other day after pe i was going around giving the girls in class a neck rub. then zh volunteered to give me one and i agreed somewhat hesitantly (on hindsight, stupidly). after rubbing the neck/shoulder area, zh says: "i can do it to your front too!" and poor jo turns absolutely white in horror!

ok but it turns out he meant my temples (so he says) and tt was fine. then later he says: "you know a good massage is better than an orgasm?"



fluttered into your heart on Friday, January 16, 2004 at 08:56 p.m.

because one day you'll know and its a sudden epiphany that shakes the very roots of your soul-- and "do i love him?" becomes as irrelevant as "do i dream or eat or sleep or cry" because of course you do, and that's what makes you the person you are now and have always wanted to be.

fluttered into your heart on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 09:37 p.m.

truth be told

sometimes i think my only motivation to work hard for anything is not so much to beat myself, but to beat someone else. someone i see less deserving in some way... most often its someone i dont particularly like and refuse to admit defeat to. call it pride if you will. at the end of the day though, this kind of attitude takes away all the meaning in one's achievements and takes on a badly-hidden form of gloating.

fluttered into your heart on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 at 08:58 p.m.

my angel has not written to me yet. if i dont get anything soon i will write threatening msges to him/her :) :)

script for dramafeste is plodding along. quite a headache. think i may be more attached to that joke of a script than i previously thought... anyhow... bleahh.

juniors! if you are reading this, dont put all your bags in the front rows! it pisses the seniors off- being relegated to the last row. i love doing plath for PC, she rox (what an annoying way to spell rocks) my world.

fluttered into your heart on Monday, January 12, 2004 at 09:50 p.m.

Light In Your Eyes

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you's" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free
I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known girl
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all

There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away
It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong

There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me

There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

k k i didnt put this here cos it pertained to me.. as far as im concerned, i can still the light and its going strong :) just fell in love with the song all over again. download it yah.

fluttered into your heart on Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 10:01 p.m.

first cut is the deepest

I would have given you all of my heart
But there's someone who's torn it apart
And he's taken just all that I had
But if you want I'll try to love again
Baby, I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest
Baby I know the first cut is the deepest
But when it comes to being lucky he's cursed
When it come to loving me he's worst

I still want you by my side
Just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
And I'm sure going to give you a try
And if you want I'll try to love again (tryyy)


fluttered into your heart on Sunday, January 11, 2004 at 01:52 p.m.

yay new template. :) campfire was half stone, half fun.

i feel like talking abt hypocrisy but hmm maybe i shouldnt.

fluttered into your heart on Saturday, January 10, 2004 at 09:15 a.m.